Tag Archives: trans

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Photography, Racism, Speciesism, Trans, Veganism

Welcoming gender diversity at Vegan Soul Wellness Fest

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[Image: Pax speaks at a podium on a stage. Photo by Wayne Calhoon.]

Yesterday, I gave a keynote speech at the Vegan Soul Wellness Festival at Laney College in Oakland. As I blogged previously, this presentation was an updated and expanded version of the Welcoming Gender Diversity talk I gave at the Intersectional Justice Conference earlier this year. In this talk, I focused more on the intersections of race and gender, and promoted Black Vegans Rock. My presentation wasn’t filmed (to my knowledge), but the slides are available online.

Welcoming gender diversity[Image: A stage with an empty podium and screen showing the words “Welcoming gender diversity.”]

I was a bit intimidated when I entered the theater and saw hundreds of seats, as I hadn’t given a presentation of this nature to that large of an audience before. The festival was initially sold out (tickets were free but there were limits to venue capacity), but the day of the event it was re-opened to all. Unfortunately, only a couple dozen people watched me speak, but a number of attendees approached me afterward to thank me and ask for more information.

David Carter at Vegan Soul Wellness Fest[Image: David Carter speaks at a podium on a stage.]

The keynote speech of football player and vegan activist David Carter, aka The 300 Pound Vegan, followed mine, and had a much higher turnout. David and his wife Paige (who is also a photographer) spoke about vegan nutrition and systemic racism, among other topics.

Keith Tucker at Vegan Soul Wellness Fest[Image: Keith Tucker stands at a podium on a stage, in front of a screen containing the words “I went vegan”.]

Other speakers included lauren Ornelas of the Food Empowerment Project, Nassim Nobari of Seed the Commons, and Keith Tucker of Hip Hop is Green. A number of workshops and cooking demos (which I did not attend) were held simultaneously, and vendors served up tasty vegan food and other vegan-friendly products. I especially enjoyed a chocolate parfait from Sanctuary Bistro, which the owner assured me was not sourced from countries that enslave children on cocoa farms.

My full set of photos from the event is available on Flickr. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

Presenting at WikiConference North America

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[Image: Pete Forsyth and Pax speak about transgender issues at the Wikimedia Foundation. Photo by Ziggy.]

I’m pleased to announce that I will be presenting at the annual WikiConference North America, coming up October 7-10 in San Diego. My presentation, currently scheduled for October 8 at 1:30 p.m., is entitled “The Transgender Gap: Trans and non-binary representation on Wikipedia.”

As the abstract notes, I’ll be doing some basic gender education and discussing issues of particular relevance to trans people on Wikipedia, which I previously addressed at the inaugural Bay Area WikiSalon. From combating hate and ignorance and deadnaming to accurately surveying for gender, I’ll address challenges and best practices for improving trans coverage and making Wikipedia more welcoming to trans editors.

Registration is open, and free attendance (without lunch) is available for volunteers. I received a partial scholarship to cover my travel expenses, for which I’m grateful, especially as Ziggy will be coming with me. Traveling while trans is stressful, and though I’ve visited San Diego many times, I haven’t been there since years before my transition, so I don’t know what to expect. I’m hoping to have a good time in addition to learning and sharing information with fellow Wikipedians.

Cissexism, Racism, Trans, Veganism

Presenting at Vegan Soul Wellness Festival

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[Image: A poster reading (in part): “Welcoming Gender Diversity – An open conversation with keynote speaker Pax Ahimsa Gethen”]

On September 24, I’ll be one of the keynote speakers at the Vegan Soul Wellness festival in Oakland. I’ll be presenting an updated and expanded version of the talk I gave at the Intersectional Justice Conference earlier this year: Welcoming Gender Diversity: Trans, non-binary, and intersex inclusion in activist spaces. I’ll be representing Black Vegans Rock and discussing the intersections of racism and cissexism as part of my talk.

The other keynote speakers are David Carter, aka The 300 Pound Vegan, and his wife, photographer and activist Paige Carter. The festival will include workshops, cooking demos, food vendors, and more. If you’re in the SF Bay Area, come check it out!

ETA: My talk is currently scheduled for noon. The final schedule should be posted closer to the date of the event.

Classism, Photography, Racism, Trans

Rock Against The TPP

[Image: A vocalist from Taína Asili’s band stands on an indoor stage in front of a banner reading Rock Against the TPP.]

Friday night I attended Rock Against the TPP, a rally and concert in San Francisco to protest the Trans-Pacific Partnership. The TPP deal was so secretive and problematic that Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Jill Stein are all against it, which is likely one of very few things those presidential candidates all agree on. You can read more about the issues and see upcoming tour dates for the concert on the Rock Against the TPP web site.

Evan Greer at Rock Against the TPP[Image: Evan Greer stands on an indoor stage, holding up a sign reading Rock Against the TPP.]

I learned about this event from Evan Greer, a trans activist who is frequently misgendered; I’d previously signed her petition calling for news editors to confirm the gender pronouns of their sources. Greer was even misgendered on stage at this concert that she co-produced (and also performed in), which was painful to witness.

Bonfire Madigan at Rock Against the TPP[Image: Madigan Shive of Bonfire Madigan plays cello on an indoor stage.]

Sellassie at Rock Against the TPP[Image: Sellassie stands on an indoor stage.]

Accordion player at Rock Against the TPP[Image: A member of the band La Santa Cecilia plays accordion on an indoor stage.]

Dead Prez at Rock Against the TPP[Image: The hip hop duo Dead Prez performs on an indoor stage.]

Besides Greer, speakers and performers included Raw-G, Ryan Harvey, Built for the Sea, Bell’s Roar, Sellassie, Bonfire Madigan, Jello Biafra, La Santa Cecilia, Jeff Rosenstock, Taína Asili,  Audiopharmacy, and Dead Prez (featuring black vegan Stic Man). Quite a variety of musical styles were represented.

The musicians and other speakers talked about a number of social justice issues besides the TPP, including the Dakota Access Pipeline, racist police violence (hip hop artist Sellassie was one of the Frisco Five who helped oust police chief Greg Suhr), and access to healthy food and medical care. The crowd, which filled the Regency Ballroom, was engaged and energetic.

My full set of photos from the event is available on Flickr. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!

LGBTQIA, Photography, Trans

Honoring our trans elders from Compton’s

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[Image: Dolores “Dee Dee” Yubeta, a regular at Gene Compton’s Cafeteria, smiles while holding a mic on an outdoor stage. Rainbow pride and American flags fly behind her.]

Yesterday I headed to the Tenderloin in San Francisco to attend a celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot, an uprising against police harassment that predated the Stonewall Riots by three years. This event was created by Felicia “Flames” Elizondo, a trans Latina activist who frequented Compton’s and was present at the riot; she also gave yesterday’s keynote address. I recognized her and several of the other organizers and speakers from other trans-focused events I’d attended in the past year, including the Transgender Day of Remembrance, Transgender Day of Visibility, Tranform California, and the Trans March.

Felicia "Flames" Elizondo[Image: Felicia “Flames” Elizondo speaks into a mic on an outdoor stage. A rainbow flag is in the background.]

Lyle J. Beckman[Image: Lyle J. Beckman of the San Francisco Night Ministry speaks into a mic on an outdoor stage. A Spanish translator provides interpretation.]

While this event was focused primarily on our elders in the trans liberation movement—trans women of color in particular—a variety of speakers and performers were included. Dani Castro and Akira Jackson served as emcees. The event opened with Lyle J. Beckman of the San Francisco Night Ministry. Ronnie Lynn, a popular female impersonator in the 1960s and a close friend of Felicia’s, also spoke.

Activist Mia “Tu Mutch” Satya called for everyone to work for black liberation alongside trans liberation. Other speakers included Compton’s Cafeteria regular Dolores “Dee Dee” Yubeta (pictured at the top of this post), trans pioneer Veronika Fimbres, and trans elder Jasmine Jubillee Gee.  ASL and Spanish interpretation were provided for all speakers.

Singers of the Street[Image: Singers of the Street perform on an outdoor stage, with Jasmine Gee on clarinet.]

Sheena Rose[Image: Drag queen Sheena Rose performs on an outdoor stage.]

Musical performances included Singers of the Street, with Jasmine Gee on clarinet. Drag queens Sheena Rose and Donna Personna also performed.

Felicia "Flames" Elizondo with cake[Image: Felicia “Flames” Elizondo smiles while holding a cake with a “Screaming Queens” logo and picture.]

Gwen Park and Dani Castro with proclamation[Image: Organizers Gwen Park and Dani Castro hold a framed certificate from state senator Mark Leno.]

This community event was mercifully free of political speeches. Politicians were represented only in the form of a resolution honoring the event from state senator Mark Leno, a brief appearance by mayoral advisor Theresa Sparks, and commendations given to trans elders from the board of supervisors.

My full set of photos is available on Flickr. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

Naming and deadnaming

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[Image: Self-portrait of Pax wearing glasses with red and black frames.]

Three years ago today, I announced my new name, Pax Ahimsa Gethen, to the world. While my legal name and gender change didn’t take place until nearly a year later, that was just a formality as far as I’m concerned. Pax has been my real name since August 23, 2013.

While it took awhile for friends and acquaintances to get used to the change, anyone who still deliberately refers to me by my previous name at this point is basically being an asshole, and should be treated accordingly. I have no tolerance for intentional deadnaming, which is not only disrespectful but an attack on the trans community. It doesn’t matter what politics, privileges, or personal qualities the individual being deadnamed has, and it doesn’t matter if they laugh or shrug it off. Not all trans people can laugh in the face of verbal violence, and asking marginalized people to ignore oppression is itself oppressive.

I’ve been fighting this battle on Wikipedia, where some editors complain that avoiding deadnaming is historical revisionism, even if the trans person did not become notable before their gender transition. They complain of political correctness, social justice warriors, and attacks on “free speech“, when I’m just arguing for trans people to be treated with respect and dignity.

While I’m not currently notable enough to have a Wikipedia article, my deadname is all over the Internet, as I’ve been active online for over 20 years and have never made an effort to conceal my identity. I could never hope to go stealth, but I do expect people who learn of my previous name to respect my wishes to avoid using it. Seeing it is triggering, and people who deliberately deadname me to cause emotional distress are, again, being assholes.

Even though my deadname is easily findable online, nearly all of my official documents have been updated with my current legal name and gender for over a year now. One of the few exceptions is my birth certificate. Part of the reason is that the state I was born in, Pennsylviania, required proof of surgery for a change in gender until very recently. That requirement was lifted just this month, which is great news.

But I’m still not sure if I want or need to update my birth certificate. I almost never see this document, so it’s not triggering to me, and I haven’t needed it to change any of my other IDs, including my passport. I don’t blame my parents for choosing the name they did, and I don’t blame the hospital for assigning a female sex to me based on the available evidence. Ideally, however, I would prefer that newborns not be gendered at all. A notation of their genital arrangement—which is normally the only criteria for saying “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!”—could be part of a sealed medical record.

Updating my birth sex wouldn’t be “historical revisionism”; it would be a correction to an arbitrary and incorrect assumption about my gender. My current name, on the other hand, is not one that I had until three years ago. That doesn’t mean it’s OK to deadname me, but it would be just as inaccurate to say that I was “born” Pax Ahimsa Gethen as it is to say that I was “born” female. If I were trying to go stealth or needed to update my birth record in order to get other official documents changed, this would be a much easier decision, but as of now I’m not really sure it’s necessary. I’m just glad that at least it’s an option now, for those of us who have not had surgery.

In any case, happy nameday to me! I’m not doing anything special to celebrate, though Ziggy, who is working long hours today, did make my traditional birthday breakfast of champurrado (Mexican chocolate porridge) yesterday. As my transition progresses, I expect to de-emphasize my birthday, which has a number of unpleasant memories attached to it, in favor of recognizing this nameday, and celebrating my authentic self.

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Racism, Trans

Running while trans

[Image: Pax runs while smiling and making a “V” sign with their fingers. Photo by Ziggy.]

Content note: Exercise and fitness discussion.

Watching the Summer Olympics inspired me to make another attempt at recommitting to a regular exercise schedule. As I miss racing, I’ve decided to run a minimum of three miles, six days a week. I’m doing a brief warmup in the morning and some yoga stretches in the evening, but otherwise not committing to any other fitness activities at this time. I’ve registered to run the Bridge to Bridge 12K in October and the Kaiser Half Marathon in February.

So far I’ve stuck to this schedule for a week, usually rising before 6 a.m. so that I can get out and back before too many people are out and about. These early run times will also be helpful as daytime temperatures rise in September and October; sweating under layers while cis men run bare-chested makes me seriously resentful and dysphoric. Even this morning, overcast and 55 degrees, I was sweating in a light windbreaker, but didn’t dare take it off to reveal my white T-shirt with nothing hiding my breasts underneath. While I hope to lose some of the fat I’ve accumulated on my chest and midsection, I will likely never be able to run topless safely, as I’ve written about before.

Reading the debate over South African runner Caster Semenya made me think about my own experience of running before and after starting testosterone therapy. While the gender policing of elite athletes is highly problematic and based on dubious or nonexistent scientific evidence, I have no hope or desire to compete at that level, and am no longer competing against women in any case. I noticed a marked improvement in my running times after starting my physical transition, but I’m now wondering how much of that was psychological as opposed to physical, as I didn’t come close to realizing my athletic potential when I had an estrogen-dominant body.

Regardless of my finishing times, one of my main motivations for running, aside from improving my physical health, is to make sure I get out of the house at least a few hours a week. I’ve sunk so far into depression and introversion that it’s been unusual for me to leave the apartment more than a couple of times a week. Spending most of my days sitting in front of the computer or TV hasn’t made me feel good. I remember a quote from ultramarathon runner Dean Karnazes: “Somewhere along the way we confused comfort with happiness.” Getting up at 5:30 a.m. and dealing with fatigue and aching, atrophied muscles is uncomfortable, but it’s just what I need right now.

Of course, this “pain is good” philosophy can be taken too far. When I was in marathon training back in 2012-2013, I read the autobiographies of Karnazes and several other ultrarunners: Scott Jurek, Marshall Ulrich, Rich Roll, and Christopher Bergland. As this was not only before my transition, but also before I was “woke”, it didn’t dawn on me at the time that all of these books were written by white cis men. Most of them had faced personal losses of some kind—divorce, death of a spouse or family member—which had motivated  their efforts. But aside from Bergland, who is openly gay and was assaulted for it, none have faced the kind of daily microaggressions that come with being judged for your very existence, as those of us who have brown skin and/or trans bodies know all too well.

The challenge of just surviving in this body is enough that I don’t want to burden myself with unrealistic athletic goals. My long runs got less and less rewarding the further I went beyond 13.1 miles (half marathon distance). I don’t relish the idea of spending hours and hours training for a full marathon again just to see if I can beat my pre-transition finishing time. The 26.2 mile distance is arbitrary and totally unnecessary for fitness purposes, which I knew well before I accepted the challenge from Karnazes to complete it. It’s great for Karnazes that he ran 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days, and that he, Jurek, and Ulrich have all completed the 135 mile Badwater Ultramarathon in Death Valley multiple times, but I don’t need to attempt anything like that to prove myself.

Truthfully, I have no idea what I’m capable of, mentally or physically. I have a transsexual male body, which is a configuration relatively few people have experienced. I use the term “transsexual” deliberately despite it falling out of favor, and will continue to defend its use by trans people who chose that identifier for themselves. Regardless, I can’t just look at charts that presume a male/female binary to assess or predict my performance. I’m charting new territory with each step. I can only hope to find some enjoyment and fulfillment in the process.

LGBTQIA, Racism, Sexism, Trans

My vote belongs to me

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[Image: Partial headshot of Pax with the words: Pax Ahimsa Gethen | queer * black * trans * vegan * atheist | blogger * photographer | gender & animal liberation | pronouns: they * them * their]

Note/reminder: I am affiliated with no political party and endorse no presidential candidate at this time.

I’ve been watching some of the Democratic National Convention while following the coverage in The Guardian, as I did with the Republican convention.

First, I will congratulate Hillary Clinton on becoming the first female presidential nominee of the Democratic Party. I’m phrasing it that way rather than “major” party as the media has, because I’m tired of candidates like Cynthia McKinney (who I voted for in 2008) and Jill Stein (who I voted for in 2012) being relegated to “minor” status. Regardless, I can acknowledge her historic achievement just as I acknowledged Barack Obama’s, even though I didn’t vote for him either.

Hillary Clinton does not “own” my vote any more than Obama did. A candidate cannot “steal” or “take away” a vote from another candidate that was not theirs to begin with. I have not voted for a Democrat for president since 1992, and don’t intend to now, regardless of which state I live in or who the Republican opponent is.

Being black in no way obligates me to support the Democratic Party. While there certainly are “Bernie Bros” that have displayed racism and sexism, it disgusts me that supporters of Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein are being told that they are flaunting their white privilege just by backing these candidates. While I do have economic privilege, I am still black, trans, and in a same-sex marriage. I have plenty to be worried about in a Donald Trump administration, but I am still not voting for Hillary Clinton.

If Trump is elected—and I will not be surprised if he is—the only people I will blame are the people who actually voted for him. As Michael Moore pointed out, these voters will include some people who don’t really understand or care what is at stake, and just want to shake things up. I will blame them too, but I will not blame his presidency on anyone who voted for a third-party candidate, or chose not to vote at all.

If you want to vote for Clinton, by all means do so. Campaign for her if you like. But do not tell me that I am in any way obligated to vote for her or any other Democratic candidate. My vote belongs to me.

Cissexism, Heterosexism, LGBTQIA, Racism, Trans

The LGBTQ and The Donald

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[Image: A rainbow flag partially covering the flag of the USA.]

Note/reminder: I am affiliated with no political party and endorse no presidential candidate at this time.

Yesterday I watched the official livestream of the Republican National Convention, while reading the coverage and commentary in The Guardian as I had for the previous three days. I turned the sound down for some of it, turning it back up to hear the cover band.* I have to admit that the music was excellent, despite my disgust at hearing songs by queer and black artists who would likely not be supportive of the Republican platform.**

The display of “cosmetic diversity” continued, with black, Asian, and gay Republicans attempting to show how wonderfully tolerant this party has become. Pastor Mark Burns, a black televangelist, led the crowd in a rousing chant of “All Lives Matter.” Korean-American Dr. Lisa Shin extolled the beauty of legal immigration and the American dream. Peter Thiel, a white cisgender male billionaire, told the audience that he was “proud to be gay“, and of the controversy over trans people using public restrooms, said “Who cares?”

Well, I care quite a bit, especially as I am still often misgendered as female. Ted Cruz, who thinks trans women are perverted men in dresses, also cares quite a bit about this issue, which is likely one of the reasons why he didn’t endorse Trump (who has flip-flopped around the subject). Should I be grateful that the RNC allowed a (wealthy white cis) gay man to openly disagree with their anti-LGBT platform at their convention? This is a crumb, a mere gesture, not true progress.

In his acceptance speech, Donald Trump quite awkwardly referred to the “LGBTQ community”. He did so in reference to the Orlando massacre, calling the 49 victims “wonderful Americans.”  He did not speak the name of a single one of those people, however, reserving that honor for a young woman who had been killed by a “border crosser”. He only promised to protect our “LGBTQ citizens” from “hateful foreign ideology,” using the murder of queer people of color as a prop for his Islamophobia.

Trump appeared to express genuine gratitude to the Republican audience for applauding his lines about the LGBTQ community. But again, these are mere crumbs, not real progress. If those Republicans really cared about our community, they would speak out against the many murders of trans women of color, whether or not those women were killed by “Islamic terrorists”. Of course, if they genuinely wanted to support our community, they wouldn’t be Republicans at all, not that the Democrats are doing much better in securing us equal rights in anything other than marriage. (Should I, a pacifist, really be grateful that openly trans people can now serve in the military?)

I found it interesting that, according to the Guardian, the term “LGBTQ” was the top trending search on Google last night. I’m reminded of what a bubble I live in when I see how many people are not familiar with that acronym. Granted, there are many variations on the term, but for those unaware, that configuration of letters stands for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning”. The awkward way Trump pronounced it indicated he might not even know what all of those letters mean himself. Or perhaps his speechwriters wanted to avoid alienating his evangelical supporters—whose support, Trump actually admitted, was not entirely deserved—by uttering the word “transgender”.

Regardless, though there are certainly transgender Republicans—Caitlyn Jenner being one of the most prominent—this party most definitely does not represent our interests in any way, shape, or form. Queer folks and cis people of color are only welcomed by the GOP if they practice respectability politics. Those politics were on prominent display throughout the Republican convention. And I fully expect to see more of them at the Democratic convention later this month.

*Guitarist and bandleader G.E. Smith, who I knew well from his days with Hall and Oates and Saturday Night Live, said of the 2012 Republican convention that he was not political and it was just a job to him; this year’s event was likely the same. I personally think this mindset is irresponsible for a prominent (and very likely financially secure) artist to take.

**From what I understand, organizations often license songs in packages from publishing companies for events like this. Whether artists can opt out of these arrangements isn’t clear to me.

LGBTQIA, Photography, Racism, Trans

Queer acoustics at The Lost Church

[Image: Mya Byrne sings while playing acoustic guitar on an indoor stage.]

Last night I spent an enjoyable evening at The Lost Church in San Francisco’s Mission District, where three singer-songwriters from the LGBTQIA community—Mya Byrne, Eli Conley, and Kathleen Knighton—performed beautiful acoustic music.

I came at the invitation of my friend Eli, from whom I’ve taken voice lessons. Eli is trans but acknowledges his privileges as a white man, and frequently speaks out for black folks and other people of color. I’d previously photographed him performing at a fundraiser to help stop gentrification in the Mission. In the wake of the most recent police murders of black folks, Eli wrote a beautiful song to express solidarity with Black Lives Matter:

After watching the video, I made it a priority to come see his latest concert. All of the performers were excellent, and it was a treat to be in a supportive space filled with queer and trans folks and our allies.

Mya Byrne at The Lost Church[Image: Mya Byrne sings and plays acoustic guitar on an indoor stage.]

Eli Conley at The Lost Church[Image: Eli Conley sings and plays acoustic guitar, accompanied by a tambourine player, on an indoor stage.]

Kathleen Knighton at The Lost Church[Image: Kathleen Knighton sings while playing acoustic guitar on an indoor stage.]

My full set of photos from the concert is available on Flickr. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!

P.S. I now have accounts on Instagram and Pinterest. Though I don’t expect to use either of those services much myself, please tag me if you share my work on those networks. Since my preferred alias, “funcrunch”, was taken, I used my full name, as I have on my Facebook page: paxahimsagethen.