Category Archives: LGBTQIA

Issues about sexual orientation, trans and nonbinary people

Trans

Sometimes being trans is literally a pain in the ass

[Image: Self-portrait of Pax wearing glasses with red and black frames.]

Content note: Medical issues, including needles.

Yes, I did mean literally in that title. For the past three weeks I have been dealing with pain in my rear from a trans-related medical procedure. This has disrupted my life far more than I expected it would, and made me even more depressed about being trans. I’m sharing this experience not to seek pity, but in the hopes it will be informative and useful to others.

Background: I started on testosterone therapy with biweekly intramuscular injections in January 2014. After being trained and doing them myself at home for awhile, I began having greater and greater difficulty, to the point where I had my partner Ziggy take over administering my shots last October (though I still prepped and filled the syringes myself). I was not happy with this solution, nor with the prospect of being stabbed with a needle every other week for the rest of my life, so I investigated alternatives.

After working with doctors to adjust my dosage and get my hormone levels in a good range (as both my testosterone and estrogen levels were too high), I got a referral to a doctor who would administer Testopel, testosterone pellets that are implanted in the buttock fat every 3-4 months. I’d researched this previously, reading specifically the experience of trans guys who’d had it done, and it seemed like a superior option to injections. You can see a video of the procedure on YouTube (not for the squeamish, and contains some information likely only of interest to doctors).

It took some wrangling with the insurance company to get them to cover this, but eventually they agreed and I scheduled an appointment for the procedure, which occurred on June 16. The injection of lidocaine to numb the area was painful, but I knew that it would be. Once numbed up I felt no pain during the procedure, as the doctor implanted ten pellets into my right buttock. He bandaged me up and I was fine walking home and for the rest of the day.

I knew the area would be sore for a few days once the lidocaine wore off, but I was not prepared for the level and duration of pain I experienced. I don’t think I have a particularly low or high pain threshold, but I rarely take painkillers unless I’m in significant distress, preferring to rest when possible and not mask pain that might be a sign of something seriously wrong. Bottles of ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and aspirin in our medicine cabinet normally expire long before they’re used up. But after the Testopel implants, I used more painkillers in one week than I had in the previous year. I also used ice packs.

After five days of the pain not letting up at all, I was worried I had an infection. Though the doctor didn’t think I did without other symptoms (like a fever), I got another appointment for him to look at it. He didn’t take the bandages off as he didn’t want to disturb the healing, but said it looked like I was just bruised. He said I could take a lot higher dosage of painkillers and combine ibuprofen and acetaminophen, and I did so, and also increased the use of ice packs.

I took the bandages off after 10 days and thought I was out of the woods, but the pain kept coming back. I still didn’t have any other symptoms, but I was worried enough to call the doctor again two days ago, when I woke up with intense pain. They didn’t call me back this time. Fortunately, the pain once again subsided, but I’m on edge worrying that it could come back at any time.

This experience has made me more aware of the suffering of people who deal with pain on a daily basis, sometimes for years or decades. I can’t imagine what it must be like to function under those circumstances. I am truly fortunate that I have Ziggy to support me because it would be very difficult to concentrate at a regular day job during this time, when any kind of movement or even sitting the wrong way could bring on waves of pain. The painkillers helped me make it through my Wikimedia presentation and the photo shoots I did of the Trans March, Pride Parade, Trans Writing as Activism panel, and March for Impeachment, but putting in a full eight-hour work day would have been very taxing.

More worrisome for the future is the realization that I can’t risk putting myself through this amount of pain again; I’ll have to go back to the shots. When done correctly they are physically painless; it’s the psychological issues I have with them (mostly when I have to administer them myself), the inconvenience, and the preference for having the more steady flow of hormones that the pellets provide that makes me sad to abandon this form of hormone therapy. I’m stuck with the pellets for three-four months regardless, unless the pellets extrude sooner on their own (a potential complication).

Regardless of what hormone therapy I use, I am resentful that I was not born with a body that was designed to produce a cistypical male level of testosterone naturally. Granted, Testopel and other testosterone therapies were designed for cisgender men, but that gives me little comfort, as those individuals are generally still recognizable as their correct genders even if they have low T. My agender identity is authentic regardless of what kind of body I have or what I look like, but I simply feel better in a testosterone-dominant body than in one fueled by estrogen. If I need to stop taking hormones altogether and my menstrual period returns, I will be devastated.

Sometimes, despite all the needed and necessary positivity we generate around celebrating authentic lives, being trans just sucks. The literal pain in my ass may subside, but I’ll still be left fighting with a body that is out of sync with my brain.

Cissexism, Photography, Trans

TransAction: Trans Writing as Activism

[Image: Trans writers and activists Aria Sa’id, Stacy Nathaniel Jackson, Shafer Mazow, Julia Serano, and Natasha Dennerstein.]

Yesterday I attended “TransAction: Trans Writing as Activism“, a panel of trans activists reading and performing their work and speaking about their lives and experiences. The event was presented by Foglifter, RADAR Productions, Queer Rebels, and Bay Area Writers Resist, and featured Natasha Dennerstein, Sam Dylan Finch,
Stacy Nathaniel Jackson, Akira Jackson, Shafer Mazow, Aria Sa’id, and Julia Serano. Akira and Aria represented TAJA’s Coalition, an organization with a mission to “stop the genocide of trans women of color.”

Natasha Dennerstein[Image: Natasha Dennerstein reads from her book.]

Sam Dylan Finch[Image: Sam Dylan Finch speaks on the panel.]

Julia Serano[Image: Julia Serano reads from her book.]

I was familiar with many of these folks from prior reading and events. Sam writes powerfully about trans and non-binary identities and mental health in Everyday Feminism and Let’s Queer Things Up. I’d already met Julia, who I’ve mentioned on this blog frequently, at one of her book launch events. I’d seen Akira emcee’ing  the Trans Day of Remembrance and  Compton’s Cafeteria Riot 50th anniversary, and performing (as Tajah J) at the Trans March. I recognized Ar’ia from the Black Excellence Tour (and I believe the Trans Day of Visibility as well).

Aria Sa'id[Image: Aria Sa’id reads from her phone.

Akira Jackson[Image: Akira Jackson sings a capella.]

Stacy Nathaniel Jackson[Image: Stacy Nathaniel Jackson reads from his book.]

I had good conversations with several of the speakers. One of the organizers suggested I might speak at a future event myself. I don’t consider myself a writer in the literary sense, nor an artist; I’m a blogger, basically, and my photography is photojournalistic in style. But I am getting more comfortable with public speaking, particularly about trans issues, so it’s something to consider.

My full set of photos from the event is available on Flickr. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!

LGBTQIA, Photography, Trans

Pride and protest

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[Image: Marching with the Resistance contingent of the San Francisco Pride Parade.]

On Friday I attended the San Francisco Trans March for the fourth consecutive year. As usual, I concentrated on photographing the stage performances at Dolores Park rather than the audience or the march itself. An assortment of singers, dancers, and speakers were featured.

Trans March dancer[Image: A performer in a colorful, revealing costume dances at the Trans March.]

GoodMob at Trans March[Image: The hip-hop duo GoodMob performs at the Trans March.]

Singing Bois at Trans March[Image: The Singing Bois perform at the Trans March.]

Mya Byrne at Trans March[Image: Mya Byrne performs at the Trans March.]

The highlight of the show for me was singer-songwriter Mya Byrne, who I’d enjoyed watching twice previously.

Ashley Love at Trans March[Image: Ashley Love speaks while holding a “Justice for Kayla Moore” poster.]

As in recent years, the march ended at Taylor and Turk in the Tenderloin, near the site of the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot. Several people spoke, including Ashley Love, who wanted to bring attention to the fate of Kayla Moore, a mentally ill black trans woman who died in the custody of the Berkeley police. San Francisco Supervisor Jane Kim announced that the city had proclaimed the area a Transgender Cultural District. (No elected officials were invited to speak on the Dolores Park stage after last year’s uproar.)

Alex U. Inn at Trans March[Image: Alex U. Inn speaks at the Trans March.]

Cecilia Chung and actors at the Trans March[Image: Cecilia Chung stands with When We Rise actors Ivory Aquino (who portrayed her in that miniseries) and Emily Skeggs.]

Other speakers included Alex U. Inn, activist, drag king, and community grand marshal of Sunday’s Pride Parade; professor and gender theorist Susan Stryker; and two actors from the miniseries When We Rise, who were introduced by activist Cecilia Chung, one of the trans people portrayed in that series.

I had not planned to attend the main Pride Parade on Sunday, but when I read that Alex U. Inn was leading a Resistance contingent, I decided to join in. We had a good turnout from a number of different organizations, as well as people not affiliated with any particular group (like myself) who were more interested in protesting oppression than supporting the corporate pinkwashed version of Pride.

Protest signs at SF Pride[Image: Marchers hold signs reading “Community over Corporations”, “We the People Resist”, and “Black Lives Matter”.]

Protest signs at SF Pride[Image: Marchers hold various signs supporting trans, black and brown folks, and immigrants.]

Alex U. Inn and Resistance contingent[Image: Alex U. Inn addresses the Resistance contingent at the end of the Pride Parade.]

At the end of the parade, our contingent was blocked and diverted from entering the celebration area at Civic Center. Alex was livid, denouncing the Pride committee for betraying and kettling us in this fashion. They said that we should go back in and demand to be heard. I was too tired to stick around long enough to see if any further action took place. But I did hear that one group in our contingent, the Degenderettes,  had earlier stopped the parade for a short period of time, lying on the ground covered with (fake) blood, forcing every marcher thereafter (we were near the beginning of the parade) to walk over the body outlines of trans people. A powerful performance, which Mya Byrne also participated in (while holding a “Trans Dykes are Good and Pure” sign).

My full sets of photos from the Trans March and the Pride Parade are available on Flickr. Some are also on Wikimedia Commons, alongside photos from other contributors. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of my photos, thanks!

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

Presenting with pride at Wikipedia

[Image: Pax speaks at a podium on a stage. Photo by Wayne Calhoon.]

This coming Tuesday, June 27 at 1:30 p.m. (PDT), I will be presenting the inaugural talk for the LGBTQ+ Speaker Series hosted by the Wikimedia Foundation QueERG, an employee resource group for members of the LGBTQ+ community and allies. The talk will be livestreamed on YouTube and archived for later viewing. Discussion will be available in the #wikimedia-office channel on IRC.

The title of my talk is Living Persons, subtitle Trans lives and Wikipedia: Representation and impact. This title is a reference to the English Wikipedia’s Biographies of Living Persons policy, as well as to the living trans and non-binary people who are affected, as readers and editors, by how trans folks are represented and discussed on the encyclopedia. I’ve discussed these subjects in previous talks at the Bay Area WikiSalon and at WikiConference North America. I plan to provide more current examples of trans issues on Wikipedia and in society, and talk about my own gender history and experiences as well.

Editing Wikipedia articles and contributing photos to Wikimedia Commons has given me a sense of pride and purpose. This is especially valuable during Pride Month. I’ve contributed several new articles and a number of photos to the annual Wiki Loves Pride campaign, and plan to submit more before the month is out. Today I’ll be attending the Trans March for the fourth year in a row, so I hope to get good photos of the stage performances and speakers. I look forward to continuing to boost the visibility of my fellow trans and non-binary folks.

ETA June 27: The video, slides, and PDF of my talk are all now available online.

Heterosexism, LGBTQIA, Religion, Speciesism, Veganism

Bigoted vegans piss on Pride month

[Image: Pax pets Shiva, a steer at PreetiRang Sanctuary. Photo by Ziggy.]

This week, Mercy for Animals featured me in their article, 13 LGBTQ Vegans You Need to Follow. I had already found and shared the article to my Facebook page before MFA posted it on Facebook themselves. Very shortly afterward, the negative comments came flooding in.

We had your garden-variety bigotry:

[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Animal rights have nothing to do with the filth and immorality that is homosexuality, this ends my association with you.”]

"Sick people"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Vegans not have connection with sick people (LGBTQ etc.)”]

"Degeneracy"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Leftists glorify promiscuity, abortion, radical feminism, and welfare. Pair-bonded monogamy became edgy when leftists normalised degeneracy.”]

"Against the gay pride"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “I am totally for mercy for animals! But against the gay pride!”]

And we had your bigotry using  religion as a rationale :

"Be fruitful and multiply"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Ummm No I will decide who I follow- not this- agenda- very disappointed – I run a biblical page and share your info- will NOT share this- you need to propagate your species – the first positive command, be fruitful and multiply !”]

"Jesus Christ"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “No thank you. I follow Jesus Christ!”]

And we had the predictable questioning why marginalized humans should get any attention on a page devoted to animal rights:

"Gay agenda"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “You know, it’s really a shame when animal groups get political. The only ones that suffer are the animals. Because of this, I am now unfriending your face book page. This message has nothing to do with animals. Also, I don’t agree with the gay agenda.”]

"Lost focus"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Lost focus! This page should not raise politics, religion …! One should only comment on such a scandal if it involves animal welfare! This way there will be disagreements! The focus here are the animals! Try to use love and respect for animals to raise other flags is wrong it’s just the animals that will lose!”]

"Sexual preference"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Why does sexual preference always get mixed into everything these days? Doesn’t this takes away from the sole purpose of this facebook cause and mission? Im fine with what ever a person’s preference is but let’s put the focus back where it needs to be. Please, let’s work together to save the ones without a voice.”]

"Irrelevant"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Being gay or straight is irrelevant to having an interest in animal welfare.”]

"Ruined the main purpose"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “By this post you’ve just ruined the main purpose of the group, why so many people were following you. You better be fair now and rename the group to something like “LGBT VEGANS”, so all can understand what exactly they deal with.”]

"WTF"[Image: Screenshot of a comment reading “Wtf does this have to do with mercy for animals???”]

Note that roughly half of the comments above were made within 45 minutes of the article’s posting, overwhelming any positive feedback. The moderators later removed the worst of them.

This kind of pushback is sadly familiar to those of us who are working against human oppression in the animal rights community. I’ve already addressed many of the common excuses for this behavior, including the expected replies that the above commenters aren’t “real” vegans or aren’t typical of all animal rights activists or of activists from a particular organization. This bigotry and oppression exists, period, and it’s one reason I’ve significantly decreased my involvement in animal rights and vegan activism lately. Activists who would shame me, or others, for taking care of myself need to read this response as well.

My friend Aph Ko has faced similar backlash for her work to promote black vegans, which she talks about in her new book, Aphro-ism. Helping Aph out with Black Vegans Rock is about the extent of my vegan/AR work currently. I’ve prioritized transgender advocacy and documenting the resistance to the Trump administration. Speciesism is still very bothersome to me, but fighting it is not my primary focus right now.

Allies can help by amplifying the voices of vegans in the LGBT+ community; there are many more besides those in the MFA post. Note that I have not shared my interview that was linked in that post because of concerns that some others featured on that “Queer Vegans” site are not actually vegan. I’m not splitting hairs here; the researcher intentionally included ex-vegans and ex-vegetarians in her interviews, but the title and intro do not state this explicitly. (Update, June 19: The researcher, Leah Kirts, has edited her Queer Vegans site in response to my feedback.)

Regardless, people in the LGBT+ community need help whether they’re vegan or not. Pride month should be a time to recognize and celebrate sexual and gender diversity, not just with rainbow icons and profile frames on Facebook (which are fine), but with specific acts of allyship, and financial contributions for those who have the means. Many queer writers (including me) have links to PayPal accounts, Patreon pages, or other ways you can do more than just show appreciation, but actually help us survive. Helping marginalized humans does not take away from the animals; it helps make more allies for them in the fight against all oppression.

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Photography, Trans

One year on, the pulse continues

[Image: A crowd in the Castro attends the HonorThemWithAction vigil.]

On Monday I attended a gathering in the Castro to honor the victims of the Pulse nightclub massacre, which occurred one year ago in Orlando. This San Francisco event was part of a nationwide “HonorThemWithAction” campaign. It was organized by Day of Decision San Francisco, a group that has organized a number of rallies related to marriage equality and other LGBT+ issues, so I recognized a number of people there.

HonorThemWithAction vigil in the Castro[Image: Ruben Martinez gives opening remarks, while Sister Merry Peter watches.]

Unlike last year’s vigil on the night of the shooting, the street was not closed, so we crowded on the sidewalk at the corner of 18th and Castro. I was concerned that it would be a white-dominated event, but then Ruben Martinez gave opening remarks in Spanish and English. (ASL interpretation was also provided).

Pastor Megan Rohrer[Image: Pastor Megan Rohrer speaks at the vigil.]

Pastor Megan Rohrer then gave a blessing and other remarks, which included shouting into the microphone, “Out of the bars and into the streets!”  I recognized Megan from marriage equality events, but didn’t realize that they are also openly transgender and non-binary. Their inclusive ministry is one example of why I am willing to work with (some) religious officials and organizations, despite being a long-time atheist.

Sister Merry Peter[Image: Sister Merry Peter speaks at the vigil.]

Sister Merry Peter of the Sisters for Perpetual Indulgence then led  a reading of the names of the 49 killed at Pulse, also putting in a mention for victims of the Ghost Ship fire in Oakland, and for the many transgender people (overwhelmingly women of color) murdered this year. As a microphone was passed around, I read out three of the names myself, calling on my limited knowledge of Spanish to pronounce the names  correctly (as most of the victims were Latinx).

Children at the vigil[Image: Young children draw with markers at the vigil.]

The mic was then opened to whoever wanted to speak. After listening to several others, I decided to take a turn. Here is what I said, to the best of my recollection:

Hey y’all, I’m Pax, it stands for peace (*flashes peace sign*). I’m usually behind the camera, so I think this is the first time I’ve taken the mic at one of these things.

I wanted to give a shout-out to all my fellow transgender and non-binary people. I’m actually agender, but I’ve transitioned from female to male for legal purposes, because non-binary gender identities are not seen as legitimate by 99.44% of the human population. I hope to change that.

Your genders are legitimate. Your names are legitimate. Your pronouns are legitimate. Your choice of which restroom to use is legitimate. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t allow yourself to be erased. Thank you.

A few more people spoke, including San Francisco Supervisor Jeff Sheehy (who I believe was not an invited speaker, just another attendee). Then Sister Merry took the mic again, and sprinkled the crowd with “fairy dust” (ashes from burnt offerings). Extra dust was provided in little bags for people to take with them.

HonorThemWithAction whiteboard[Image: A person attaches a note to a whiteboard reading “How will you pledge to #HonorThemWithAction?]

A whiteboard was provided for people to post notes of how they would take action to honor the victims. I wrote on my note, “Honoring authentic identities with words and pictures,” which is what I’m doing with this blog post. A couple of people also thanked me for my words after the event, so I was glad I spoke out.

My full set of photos from the event is available on Flickr. Some of my photos are also on Wikimedia Commons (alongside photos from other contributors). Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of my photos, thanks.

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans, Veganism

On restrooms and allyship

[Image: lauren Ornelas, Pax, and Aph Ko at the Food Empowerment Project 10th anniversary party, April 2017. Photo by Deborah Svoboda.]

Yesterday my friend lauren Ornelas, founder and executive director of the Food Empowerment Project (a vegan food justice organization), posted a blog entry about a simple but important act of allyship; please read her post before continuing. I want to express my gratitude and explain the significance of this action, especially in an era of trans-antagonistic “bathroom bills”.

As a transgender person of color who attended the Food Empowerment Project 10th anniversary celebration, I wanted to highlight the importance of labeling the restrooms as gender-neutral. I last visited the Mission Cultural Center in April 2014, when I was performing there with the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco. At that time I had only been on hormone therapy for a short time, and was very frequently misgendered as female. (While I identify as agender, I have transitioned from female to male for legal and medical purposes.) This caused me a great deal of stress whenever I needed to use a restroom.

Once I began my hormonal transition, I decided to use mens restrooms exclusively in places where no gender-neutral facilities were available, such as the Mission Cultural Center. So I stood outside the mens room there, literally shaking with nervousness, waiting until no one was coming in or out before entering. I stood there for a good ten minutes before finally working up the nerve to enter that restroom. I finished my business without incident, fortunately.

To this day, three years later, I am still nervous when using a gendered restroom, especially in an unfamiliar place, even in San Francisco, where people are legally entitled to use restrooms matching their gender identities. (As of March 2017, California law mandates that all single-occupancy restrooms be gender-neutral, but this venue had only multiple-stall restrooms available to the public.) So I was delighted when I attended the F.E.P. party to see the gender-neutral signs on both restrooms. I still used the one that was ordinarily designated for men, but I felt safer knowing that whichever one I chose, I belonged there.

Ally is a verb, as lauren and her staff at F.E.P. demonstrated at this event. I am grateful for their act of allyship.

LGBTQIA, Trans

I sing out, authentically

[Image: The Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco performs at MCCSF. Photo by Ziggy. More photos are available on Flickr.]

This month I sang in a concert with the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco for the first time in three years. I was pleased to be selected to lead off our performance with a short solo on “I Sing Out” by Mark Hayes. The title of this concert was “Here I Am: Living Authentically”, and short, original pieces on that theme were read in between the songs. I was not a part of the chorus when these readings were solicited, but if I had been, I would have submitted this:

How many folks can say they’ve sung in three different sections of the same chorus? I have that rare honor and privilege thanks to a supportive environment that helped me ease me into male puberty in middle age. Confused? Let me back up and explain.

I entered the chorus as an alto in 2013, at the age of 43. Having grown up in a musical family, I’d sung and played instruments for my entire life, but most recently had performed mostly rock music. And I realized that although I was living as a woman, almost every song I’d chosen to sing was written for a man, and I felt most comfortable in musical groups consisting mostly of men—gay and bi men, preferably.

Now, I was in a chorus with plenty of gay and bisexual people, but almost everyone in my section was a woman. These were women of all kinds, to be sure, from femme to butch to everything in between and none of the above. And yet, I felt out of place.

Our director, Billy, was great about addressing the chorus with gender-neutral terms, even changing gendered lyrics in our songs as appropriate. But sitting in the alto section, I still felt the growing sense that “I am not one of you”. I wasn’t sure that I was a man, exactly, just that I was not a woman.

These feelings didn’t start with the chorus, but crystallized there. When they grew too loud and large to ignore, I decided to do something about it. On August 23, 2013, I announced to the world my new name and non-binary gender identity.

I e-mailed Billy that I was planning to start on testosterone therapy in January, and would likely not be able to stay in the chorus as my voice would drop. He replied that I should stay and switch to the tenor section. This was wonderful news; not only could I keep singing, but I would now get the melody line occasionally!

I sang happily as a tenor for several months, before dropping out for awhile. I am now back, three years later, singing as a baritone in our bass section. I miss singing as a tenor, but what’s important is that I have taken steps to live a more authentic life. I am grateful to the chorus for giving me the space for this realization.

LGBTQIA, Photography

Celebrating LGBT community in San Francisco

[Image: The Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco performs in the lobby of the newly renovated SF LGBT Center. Photo by Ziggy.]

Yesterday I sang with the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco (pictured at the top of this post) to welcome visitors into the newly renovated San Francisco LGBT Center. Ziggy and I had attended opening week festivities 15 years ago, so it was great to be there together again for this rededication. He took some photos of the ribbon-cutting outside while I waited with chorus members in the lobby. As soon as the doors opened we performed a three-song set, then Ziggy and I went off to explore the space and watch the other performers.

Sister Roma at SF LGBT Center[Image: Sister Roma of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence poses under a rainbow bridge.]

SFGMC at SF LGBT Center[Image: The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus performs at the center.]

Honey Mahogany at SF LGBT Center[Image: Honey Mahogany performs at the center.]

Indigenous dancers at SF LGBT Center[Image: Indigenous dancers perform on the roof of the center.]

My full set of photos from the event is available on Flickr. If you use any of the photos, please credit Ziggy Tomcich for the first seven and me, Pax Ahimsa Gethen, for the rest. Thanks!

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Photography, Trans

Trans Day of Visibility 2017: Love and resistance

[Image: Shawn Demmons and Nya emcee Trans Day of Visibility 2017 at SOMArts, San Francisco.]

Yesterday I attended the annual Trans Day of Visibility celebration in San Francisco. I saw many of the same familiar faces from last year’s event, including emcees Shawn Demmons and Nya (pictured at the top of this post). This year’s theme was “Love and resistance”. A short film produced by the SF LGBT Center featured submitted photos of trans folks with their trans and cis loved ones, with voice-overs emphasizing the need to love trans people.

TGI Justice Project at TDoV SF[Image: Representatives from the TGI Justice Project speak on stage.]

Gwen Park at TDoV SF[Image: Gwen Park speaks on stage, canine companion in tow.]

Awards were given out to several organizations and individuals, including the TGI Justice Project, Tom Waddell Urban Health Clinic Transgender Clinic, Fresh! White, Aria Sa’id of St James Infirmary, and Gwen Park, who brought a sweet canine companion to the stage. (Gwen was not the only one to do so; Holy Old Man Bull, who gave the invocation, also brought a dog along.) Gwen, a talented videographer, streamed behind-the-scenes footage of this event to Facebook Live; I can be seen speaking briefly about 20 seconds into this video.

Riya and Momma's Boyz at TDoV SF[Image: Riya performs with Momma’s Boyz.]

Entertainment included performances by Riya and Ares with Momma’s Boyz, StormMiguel Florez, and 10-year-old diva-in-training Emmie (who also performed at the Trans March in 2015 and 2016).

Gigi Gorgeous at TDoV SF[Image: Gigi Gorgeous answers questions on stage with singer Emmie and emcee Nya.]

This year’s special guest was Gigi Gorgeous, a Canadian actress, model, and YouTube personality. She answered some questions that had been submitted in advance.

I was glad to attend this event, which as always showcased the cultural and ethnic diversity of San Francisco, and centered trans people of color. I was feeling a bit depressed shortly after arrival, however. I had just walked two miles in warm weather, carrying heavy camera equipment in my backpack, and was sweating in my dress shirt. Though I didn’t bother wearing a jacket and tie this year, semi-formal attire was suggested (but not required). Regardless, I would have rather worn something cooler, like a strappy tank top. But with my visible breasts, that kind of attire would virtually guarantee I’d be misread as female.

Chatting with some folks outside while waiting for the doors to open, I lamented that even at a trans-focused event in San Francisco, I still could not truly be myself. I emphasized that I didn’t want to wear a strappy tank to bring out my femme side; I’m agender, and I don’t have a femme side. I simply wanted to be more physically comfortable, without the emotional dissonance that comes with being misgendered.

On the other hand, one positive aspect of dressing “like a man” is that I could walk for 40 minutes in dress shoes quite comfortably, and had roomy pockets so I didn’t need to carry a purse or fanny pack. Also, considering that my walk took me through the troubled Tenderloin neighborhood, and past a homeless encampment under the freeway, I acknowledge that even as a trans person of color, I personally enjoy many privileges.

In any case, once I got inside the venue I felt better. I connected with several people, talking about my work on Wikipedia to improve representation of marginalized groups. To that end, I created a category for the Trans Day of Visibility on Wikimedia Commons.

My full set of photos from this year’s event is available on Flickr. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!