Tag Archives: trans

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Photography, Trans

Embracing our legacy at the Trans March

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[Image: The musical group Caveta Envinada and a sign language interpreter perform on stage at the San Francisco Trans March, June 2016.]

On Friday, I attended the San Francisco Trans March for the third consecutive year. I’ve come to prefer this volunteer-run, safe and sober event to other activities on Pride Weekend, which here in SF have become opportunities for corporate pinkwashing and for straight tourists to drink copious amounts of alcohol while gawking at us.

As I did last year, I decided to concentrate my photography solely on the stage performances before the actual march. I visited the information booth upon arrival at Dolores Park to ask for a list of speakers and performers. They responded by offering me a press pass! I said I was an independent blogger, not really a member of the press, but accepted. (They mostly wanted to make sure journalists didn’t take photos of any attendees without their consent; this reminder was printed on the reverse of the press pass itself.)

Pax with press pass[Image: Pax shows off their Trans March press pass. Photo by Ziggy.]

The MCs from the event were familiar to me, as I had photographed two of them before at the Transgender Day of Visibility: Shawn Demmons of the Transgender Law Center, and Nya of the reality show Transcendent. Karlyn “Fairy Butch” Lotney rounded out the trio.

Trans March MCs[Image: Shawn Demmons, Nya, and Karlyn Lotney MC the Trans March.]

The program included a number of musicians,including two young trans girls: Emmie, who also sang last year, and Alicia N.G., who also read a poem she wrote. I teared up while she sang “Where Is Love?” from Oliver, mostly because I was sad that such a young child has to deal with so much hate against people like her, as she expressed in her poetry.

Alicia N.G. at the Trans March[Image: Alicia N.G. sings at the Trans March.]

Other musical performers included Agatha Varshenka, only the lonely, Nick Lawrence, Cajeta Envinada (pictured at the top of this post), Akira Jackson, and AH MER AH SU, aka Star Amerasu (who I had also photographed at Black Queer Voices Rising).

only the lonely at Trans March[Image: A singer/guitarist from only the lonely performs at the Trans March.]

Nick Lawrence at the Trans March[Image: Nick Lawrence sings at the Trans March, accompanied by guitar and harmonica players.]

AH MER AH SU at the Trans March[Image: AH MER AH SU sings at the Trans March.]

Speakers included Mia “Tu Mutch” Satya, who I had also photographed at the Trans Day of Visibility, and Janetta Johnson of the TGI Justice Project. Johnson made headlines by pulling out of today’s Pride Parade as a protest against the increased police presence, which is threatening to black and brown folks. She was accompanied on stage by members of El/La Para TransLatinas, who I’d also photographed at the Transform California launch event and the LGBTQ/Latinx memorial for Orlando.

Janetta Johnson at Trans March[Image: Janetta Johnson speaks at the Trans March, accompanied by members of El/La Para TransLatinas.]

Theresa Sparks at the Trans March[Image: Theresa Sparks speaks at the Trans March.]

As happened at the vigil for Orlando in the Castro, controversy erupted when elected officials attempted to speak. Theresa Sparks, Mayor Ed Lee’s newly-appointed advisor on transgender initiatives, spoke (uninterrupted) and then introduced state senator Mark Leno. But attendees spotted Lee and Supervisor Scott Wiener on the side of the stage, and began booing loudly. Leno soon realized that the crowd didn’t want any of them there, and made a reasonably classy exit, saying “Though this has not been a warm welcome or one of respect, I will continue to fight for transgender rights, equality, and the respect that you’re not giving us today.” The politicians then exited to a chant of “House keys, not handcuffs,” referring to gentrification and police harassment of homeless and other marginalized folks in San Francisco.

From my reading of the various news articles* and comments on the event, the ire was directed almost entirely at Lee and Wiener, not Leno. However, though Leno is gay (as is Wiener) and has indeed fought for trans rights, he, like Wiener, is a cisgender white man, and cis white gay men are much more well-represented than others in the LGBT community, especially here in San Francisco. Rubbing elbows with disliked local politicians was not looked upon kindly by this crowd.

As an aside, the amount of vitriol I’ve seen expressed at Mayor Lee and Supervisor Wiener makes me wonder how they got elected in the first place, similar to how Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump could have become the presumptive nominees of their respective parties if they are so greatly disliked. Money-influenced corruption is part of why though I do still vote, I do not support the Democratic Party at either the local or national level.

As explained in the Trans March press release, this year’s theme, “Embracing Our Legacy: We Are Still Here,” honors our black and brown ancestors in the movement. The march ended at Turk and Taylor in the Tenderloin district, at the site of the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot. There, a new street sign was unveiled, renaming the 100 block of Taylor Street to Gene Compton’s Cafeteria Way. (I was too tired to take any more photos at that point, unfortunately.)

I was glad to attend this event, and especially happy that Ziggy was able to take a long dinner break to join me for part of it. I also met up with several other trans and non-binary folks for the march and dinner afterward. There were some problems—the sound quality was terrible, and my official Trans March tank top didn’t arrive in time—but overall, it was a positive experience.

My full set of photos from the Trans March is available on Flickr. I also uploaded a number of photos to Wikimedia Commons, to support the annual Wiki Loves Pride campaign to improve LGBT coverage on Wikipedia. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!

* News coverage included KRON, KTVU, Mission Local, and SFist.

Cissexism, Heterosexism, LGBTQIA, Racism, Speciesism, Trans, Veganism

LGBTQ vegans on the Orlando massacre

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[Image: Activists in the Castro, San Francisco, hold three rainbow flags aloft. One includes the stars of the United States flag, and another includes the words “We Have One Pulse.”]

Last week I was contacted by Richard Bowie of VegNews magazine for my thoughts, as a queer vegan, on the Orlando massacre. Today, the magazine published the responses from myself and several other LGBTQ vegans, including my friend and fellow Black Vegans Rock advisory board member Christopher Sebastian, and my friend Saryta Rodriguez who I interviewed earlier this year.

I was aware my remarks would be edited, and I am glad they included what I said about erasure of the Latinx community, which I also posted about this weekend. I said a lot more though, so I’m including my full responses below (the questions themselves are paraphrased). I’ve added links to relevant blog posts and articles. Thanks to Richard Bowie and VegNews for reaching out to queer vegans, and particularly to queer vegans of color, on this issue.

On my initial reaction to the news

My initial reaction was muted, because, sadly, I’d become so accustomed to reports of gun violence that I was somewhat jaded and numb. It took a few hours of reading and absorbing what had happened for the horror to really sink in. I’ve had feelings of anger, fear, and hopelessness; feelings I experience daily as a queer black trans person who suffers from depression, but now even more magnified. These feelings have been tempered only by the privilege of living in a very LGBTQ-friendly community; thousands of San Franciscans came out to hold space at Harvey Milk Plaza in a vigil for the dead.

On drawing a connection between the queer community and ethical veganism

As a person who identifies as agender, I have seen and been personally affected by the false binaries humans have erected of gay and straight, male and female, masculine and feminine. Anyone who strays outside of the charmed circle of cisgender heteronormativity loses the privilege of being treated as a full human being. Gay or trans “panic” is still a legal defense for murder in 49 out of 50 U.S. states.

The human/animal divide is another false binary. We needlessly exploit and kill billions of our fellow animals every year for no reason other than that they are members of different species. We cite arbitrary traits like intelligence or the ability to speak a recognizable language as justification for deciding who is a person and who is food. But just as straight-passing and cis-passing queer people who practice “respectability politics” enjoy greater privileges, animals who remind us more of ourselves – apes, dogs, elephants – are afforded greater protections and recognition as individuals in society.

Regardless of intelligence or abilities, every animal, human or otherwise, wants to live. Until animals are treated as people instead of property, we will never have a fair and just society for all.

On the media diminishing or ignoring the queer context of the tragedy

It’s grossly irresponsible, though not at all surprising, of the mainstream news outlets to erase queer and Latinx people and focus solely or primarily on terrorism (which also breeds Islamophobia). This shooting took place in a gay nightclub on Latin night. Latina and black trans women were featured performers that evening. The vast majority of the victims were Latinx. This was not a mere coincidence.

As a queer person of color, I am tired of our communities being erased and tokenized. The hashtag “#WeAreOrlando” is wrong. We are not all Orlando, and cishet white people should be amplifying the voices of the queer and Latinx people whose communities were specifically targeted by this attack.

Anything else to add?

Going through a gender transition has made me even more sensitive to speciesism and the vast scope of unnecessary, avoidable harm we inflict upon others. We live in a culture of sanctioned, accepted violence, in the streets, in our homes, and on our plates. To achieve true peace we need to stop treating our fellow beings as inferior or disposable, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, race, or even species. We should recognize and celebrate our differences, not erase them or use them as excuses for violence.

Addendum, June 22: Saryta Rodriguez has now also posted her full responses to the interview questions.

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

Dysphoria, depression, and decisions

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[Image: Pax (pre-transition) stands in semi-darkness in their underwear, in front of closed vertical blinds.]

Content note: Discussion of medical issues and suicidal ideation.

This morning, I took a hot shower for the first time in five days. The aging water heater in our apartment building had broken down on Sunday, and maintenance staff weren’t able to replace it until last night. Hot running water on demand is a luxury many people do not enjoy, to be sure; but when you are paying San Francisco rent prices, you come to expect certain amenities. So our building management arranged for free passes to a nearby gym, so that all tenants could have access to hot showers until the repairs were complete.

Unfortunately, I was not able to take advantage of this offer. My visible breasts make it unsafe for me to undress in a men’s locker room, and I simply do not belong in a facility for women. Though I generally avoided gyms and public pools for years even before my transition, I knew that this problem would come up eventually. Since I had no specific plans this week and tend to stay home a lot anyway, I simply went without showering (or exercising, so that I wouldn’t get too sweaty). But if I’d had to go to a workplace without access to a private shower, this solution would not have been possible.

I’ve written before about my thoughts on breasts and my reluctance to have top surgery. I am still resentful that I feel pressured to remove parts of my body that I don’t personally have a problem with, simply to fit in better with members of my transitioned sex. This resentment, coupled with discomfort and fear whenever I’m out in public and worried about being misgendered due to my appearance, is really wearing on my mental health. I don’t know if I can realistically live the rest of my life feeling this way, wearing extra layers even in hot weather, and unable to take off my shirt in public.

Knowing that some transmasculine people who have had top surgery still get misgendered as female makes me feel even more hopeless. I am reluctant to commit to the cost, risk, and pain of an operation that won’t even guarantee the results I’m seeking, which is simply to be accepted as male. I don’t need top surgery to feel more comfortable in my own skin; hormone therapy has taken care of that, affordably (thanks to my partner’s health insurance) and with much less risk. The operations that would further alleviate my physical dysphoria would be a hysterectomy/oophorectomy, which despite being considered by some as “routine” is not without potential complications; and genital reconstruction, which has serious risks and limitations in its current state for FtM patients.

Physical risk is something I think about a lot, and part of why my heart still races and my hand still shakes every time I prepare to inject myself with testosterone, even 2 1/2 years into my physical transition. I’ve felt for a long time that I will die young, either due to illness, accident, or violence, including suicide. Suicidal ideation is sadly common among trans people, and I experienced it for years even before I knew I was trans, with one near-attempt in 2009. Therapy helped me through the worst of it, but for reasons I explained previously, I’m not seeing a therapist or taking anti-depressants right now.

I’m not writing this to seek sympathy or advice. I’m simply trying to explain to cisgender people what it’s like for a trans person to exist in a cissexist society. I didn’t choose to be trans. I did choose the label of “agender” as the most appropriate way to convey my rejection of the gender binary, but I am a transsexual male by nature, regardless of what modifications I make to my body. I’m not a trend or a special snowflake. There’s a real live human being with real feelings behind these typed words. Please remember that, and think before you speak.

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

Journey Beyond the Binary: Pax on Huffington Post

[Image: Headshot of Pax next to the words “Journey Beyond Binary—Huff Post”. Photo by Ziggy Tomcich, text and layout by Alyssa Spatola.]

I’m pleased to announce that my essay “Men in Skirts“—featuring a photo of my partner Ziggy—has been selected for a new blog series in the Huffington Post: “Journey Beyond the Binary.” An editor for HuffPost’s “Queer Voices” section contacted me after seeing the story on Medium (though it was originally posted here on this blog), and I agreed to contribute.

huffpost-queervoices-20160609[Image: A screenshot of the Huffington Post “Queer Voices” section for June 9, 2016. A headline reading “Journey Beyond the Binary” appears above a photo of a rainbow; the text below reads “Introducing HuffPost’s Brand New Blog Series!”]

The series is featured right now on the Queer Voices section, and linked from the front page of the Huffington Post web site. I am glad to contribute my voice to trans and non-binary visibility.

Ziggy in Seattle[Image: Ziggy reclines on a sculpture, wearing a purple shirt and colorful tie-dyed skirt.]

Congratulations Ziggy, you and your skirt are now famous! 😉

Ableism, Cissexism, Classism, LGBTQIA, Racism, Sexism, Speciesism, Trans, Veganism

Dear marginalized vegans: You are enough

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[Image: Section from a panel of a Robot Hugs comic. Words at the top read “No one benefits from being told that their pain is unimportant, or non existant [sic]!” Below the words is a scale with a lighter weight reading “Not Harm” and a heavier weight reading “Harm.”]

This post is addressed to vegans who are marginalized due to their race, gender, class, sexual orientation, physical or mental abilities, or other factors. This post primarily concerns vegans currently living in the USA.

In light of certain animal rights disruptions in the news, you might be feeling pressured to “do something” for the animals. You might be reading that having vegan potlucks and the like without committing to activism is being selfish and ineffective. You might be reading that our fellow animals suffer more than any humans do, so whatever your personal situation, you have a responsibility to fight for animal rights.

You might be hearing this from any or all of the following:

The list goes on and on, but you get the picture.

As a queer black trans vegan who suffers from significant depression and dysphoria, I am here to tell you this:

You are enough.

You are enough if all you can do is have a vegan potluck.

You are enough if all you can do is buy prepared vegan meals from a non-vegan restaurant or supermarket.

You are enough if all you can do is share photos of farmed animals on social media.

You are enough if all you can do  is cuddle with your companion animals.

You are enough if all you can do is get out of bed in the morning.

If you can do more than this, great. But the fact that some marginalized vegans are able to be activists for the animals does not obligate you to do so.

It’s a violent world out there. Let’s take care of each other.

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

Trans education: Telling our own stories

[Image: Screenshot of the Transgender Today section of the New York Times, featuring images of and quotes from many people, with the headline Transgender Lives: Your Stories]

Last week I participated on two panels of trans and non-binary people, educating graduate therapy students in the San Francisco Bay Area. These presentations were arranged and conducted by Sam Davis, a queer and trans psychotherapist. We were compensated for our time, and it was an empowering experience.

I hope to do more of this sort of work, as I become more comfortable speaking about these issues in public. Especially following my presentations at the Intersectional Justice Conference and the Bay Area WikiSalon, I’ve become increasingly aware of the importance of trans people telling our own stories, rather than letting the mainstream media shape our narratives.

While my public speaking experiences thus far have been positive, I realize that not all audiences will be receptive or respectful. A recent article by Kai Cheng Thom and Ivan Coyote illustrates some of the challenges faced by trans educators that cisgender people might be ignorant about. Safe travel is a particular concern of mine, due to the TSA screening process that penalizes “traveling while trans“, and the trans-antagonistic bathroom bills being proposed in many states.

Trans and non-binary people have always existed, and we are here to stay. Making more people aware of that fact through face-to-face meetings is a necessary component of trans liberation.

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Photography, Trans

Transforming California

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[Image: Trans activists Pau Lagarde, Kris Hayashi, and Elliott Fukui at the Bay Area launch of Transform California in San Francisco. Kris Hayashi is holding a sign reading “Nuestras Voces, Nuestro Futuro” (Our Voices, Our Future).]

Yesterday I attended the San Francisco launch of Transform California, a campaign founded by the Transgender Law Center and Equality California to fight discrimination against trans and gender-nonconforming people in California. Speakers included Transgender Law Center Executive Director Kris Hayashi, Equality California Executive Director Rick Zbur, SFUSD Board of Education President Matt Haney, and longtime trans advocate Felicia Flames, who was present at the Compton’s Cafeteria riot.

Rexy Amaral at Transform California rally[Image: Trans advocate Rexy Amaral speaks at a podium in front of the high school from which she recently graduated.]

Rev. Jeanelle Nicolas Ablola at Transform California rally[Image: Rev. Jeanelle Nicolas Ablola speaks into a microphone. A sign on the podium reads “Our Voices, Our Future. TransformCalifornia.com”]

Transform California rally attendees[Image: Attendees at the Transform California rally stand and sit on the steps, holding signs. One seated holds a sign reading “Disabled trans folks gotta piss too!!!”]

Transform California rally[Image: Reporters, camera operators, and onlookers watch the rally from the sidewalk.]

The rally was racially diverse, with a strong representation from the Latinx community, which befitted the Mission District location. Local news stations covered the event.

Felicia Flames at Transform California rally[Image: Trans advocate Felicia Flames stands in front of a pledge she just signed to make California safer for trans people.]

At the conclusion of the event, everyone was invited to sign a pledge (also available on the Transform California web site) to oppose discrimination of trans and gender non-conforming people in California.

My full set of photos from the event is available on Flickr. Please credit me as Pax Ahimsa Gethen if you use any of them, thanks!

Cissexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

Flushing America down the toilet

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[Image: A restroom sign showing the stick figure of a person wearing a skirt and the word MEN underneath.]

Eleven states are now suing the federal government over trans people using restrooms. Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Louisiana, Maine, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, and Wisconsin join North Carolina in asserting their right to discriminate against trans people performing basic bodily functions.

That’s over 20% of our state governments, spending taxpayer money on the right to police peeing and pooping.

Even Donald Trump, despite his flip-flopping on numerous issues, must realize that this makes no business sense. Unlike Ted Cruz, who openly condemned trans people as perverted abominations of God and nature, Trump won’t even admit what he personally believes on the issue, just repeating the party line: “Leave it up to the states.”

We must be the laughing stock of every civilized country on Earth right now.

Trans

DSE 50th Anniversary 5K

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[Image: Pax runs while smiling and making a “V” sign with their fingers. Other runners and the Golden Gate Bridge are in the background. Photo by Ziggy.]

(Content note: Medical  issues.)

This morning, Ziggy and I ran a 5K to celebrate the 50th anniversary of our running club, Dolphin South End Runners. I’d been racing with this club since 2009, so I was really looking forward to the race. Unfortunately, a recent injury almost prevented me from participating.

Due to ongoing depression and recurring illness, I had not run in nearly two months before this week. A slow three mile run on Tuesday left my muscles sore the next day. So when I did my biweekly injection of testosterone, the combination of the sore thigh muscle and being tense led to a normally almost-painless procedure causing lingering pain that made walking difficult.

I did not see any obvious swelling or discoloration, so hoped it wasn’t an infection (which I always worry about, even though I take care to disinfect and wear gloves when doing my shots). Ziggy, who had recently recovered from an injury himself, figured it was probably a grade two quad strain. I rested and applied ice packs, and when I went to pick up our race bibs at Sports Basement on Saturday, I bought a pair of compression tights.

I figured since I managed to walk several miles to and from the pickup location without collapsing in agony (though I was constantly aware of the pain) that I would at least be able to walk the race, if the pain didn’t get any worse. But I really wanted to run, as I have in every race I’ve ever done, no matter how slowly I needed to jog. So I decided to do 5 minute/1 minute run/walk intervals, which I’d been using for  longer runs.

I walked about three miles to the race start, arriving in plenty of time. Unlike most DSE races, all runners were pre-registered, so I didn’t need to worry about being misgendered at the registration table for once. The day started out overcast, but the sun soon came out, and I felt reasonably good during the race. The pain was still present, but subsided to more of a dull ache.

The interval strategy worked, and I managed to finish over a minute per mile faster than I expected, given my injury.  I even managed to do my usual finishing sprint. I suppose I shouldn’t have been too surprised at my time, as since I started on testosterone, most of my race finishes have been faster than expected for the level of training. Regardless, I’m glad that I was able to participate, even though I’ll likely be quite sore again tomorrow.

Ziggy finished with a very good time, and it was great that he was there for companionship and support.  Looking forward to more DSE races in the future!

Ziggy and Pax at Crissy Field
[Image: Ziggy and Pax pose with their race medals. Photo by Ziggy.]

Cissexism, Heterosexism, LGBTQIA, Trans

International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia

[Image: San Francisco City Hall, lit in the pink and blue colors of the transgender pride flag.]

Today is the annual International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia. Originally created in 2004 as International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO), transphobia and biphobia were added to the acronym in 2009 and 2015, respectively. It is good to see an organization acknowledge the oft-forgotten B and T in the LGBT acronym.

I’d been using the words cissexism, trans-antagonism, and heterosexism in preference to transphobia and homophobia in recent years, because discrimination is not always based on fear, and also because of concern about ableism against people who have phobias. But I’ve been using transphobia more recently, because the bathroom legislation dominating the news is specifically rooted in fear-mongering. I’ve written numerous times about the ridiculousness of the bathroom laws already, but it bears repeating.

Allies can help by calling out any instances of bigoted or antagonistic comments that you hear from friends or acquaintances, either in person or on social media. There are a lot of false news stories and rumors about trans people spreading around, so make sure to check Snopes to verify anything questionable.

Thanks to Google for alerting me to this event by adding a link to this video from their home page, showing people fighting for justice and equality all over the world.